Ripped From the Headlines

Roxxi from TNA sent in a resume to come in to AAA.
(From the AAA section of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter--6/15/09)


An anonymous source has provided YCPK with a copy of the audiotape of the resulting Job Interview. (Actually, the Anonymous Source was a luchador whose mask we recognized who will remain incognito) (Sorry Incognito. Ur Bustd!)



Joachin Roldan: Come in, Miss...Rockzinsky?

Roxxi: Thank you. It's actually spelled "Raczynski." But, since this is an audiotape, it's pronounced like you said it.

JR: So I understand from your resume that you're interested in working for AAA. That's pronounced "Triplay Ahhh," by the way. Since this is an audiotape, you probably wouldn't have known the difference in what I said there, versus what was written, but I felt like we should be authentic.

Roxxi: Well, I really appreciate your time. Jobs in womens' wrestling are pretty exploitative, and I am a fan of the dignity AAA affords to their females.

JR: In looking at your cover letter, you say that your Objective is, and I quote, "To find a job in Triple A wrestling, possibly in a Romance Storyline involving relatives of Gran Apache or as Teddy Hart's girlfriend who shows her panties to the crowd. Ultimately, I would like to advance to a level where I'm involved with one of those Man/Woman/Transvestite/Mini matches."

Roxxi: One thing you'll learn about me, sir, is that I always aim high.

JR: That's good. 'Cause if you look up "class" in a Mexican Dictionary, you see "AAA Wrestling."
Question: Do you find it ironic that you left a Vince Russo-booked promotion, and now are begging to team with a transvestite?

Roxxi: Well, I did team with ODB in TNA. So, y'know, I'm used to it.

JR: Wait, ODB is...

Roxxi: Yep, ODB is a girl.

JR: No shit!

Roxxi: Can you say "shit" on YCPK?

JR: Fuck yeah!

Roxxi: Can you say "fuck?"

JR: Well, no. Not rea...

Konnan: OYALE!

JR: Ah, crap.

Konnan: I said "OYALE!!"

JR: /sigh
JR: What are you doing here?

Konnan: I'm the owner of AAA, and I'm here to interview Roxxi for a potential job. What are YOU doing here?

JR: Yeah, actually, I'm the owner of AAA. Antonio Pena passed away, and I took over. What we're doing with you being an owner...that's just an angle.

Konnan: Hee hee. You really believe that? In Mexico, the only things that are legally binding are pet ownership and Lucha stipulations. Everything else is pretty much a free for all...

JR: Man, I knew I never shoulda booked that match where Konnan, Electro Shock, Kenzo Suzuki, & Rellik won a "Steel Cage Elimination" Match over Latin Lover, Octagon, La Parka II, & Super Fly, thus giving you ownership of the promotion.

Konnan: Pretty much, bad on you. The owner of AAA could have been Super Fly if you weren't dumb.

JR: Or me, kinda, if I didn't book any match at all.

Konnan: Right. But I did have Antonio Pena's ashes, and you were all pissed off and...

Roxxi: So, and I hate to interrupt this cut & paste from places that aren't Luchawiki.com, but do I get the job or what?

JR: (/consults notes, since he's a lawyer and stuff) Konnan's right. I'll hang around, but it's his interview. That is--until I win ownership back at TripleMania!

Konnan: Yeah, but that's not til...

JR: June 13, 2009!! Only on (Mexican) Pay-per-view!! Shoot. I better get go...

Roxxi: Is this thing even about my resume anymore? Bill kind of requested a resume-related post.

Konnan: Fine...we'll continue the interview. (/snatches resume from Roldan)

Konnan: It says here that you've worked as both "Roxxi Laveaux" as well as "Nikki Roxx."

Roxxi: Right.

Konnan: My question is...would you be willing to shit in Juventud Guerrera's gym bag if he gets mouthy?

Roxxi: If I'm in Mexico, the water's gonna give me diarrhea anywa...

Konnan: OYALE!

Roxxi:...

Konnan: OYALE!!

JR (to Roxxi): I think the correct response is "Arriba La Raza."

Roxxi: Arriba la raza.

Konnan: Dude.

JR: Dude.

Roxxi: What now??

Konnan: "La Raza" should be capitalized there. It's disrespectful not to do that. I'm going to have to mark you down on that one. (/jots down notes)

Roxxi: How would you know that?? This was a verbal interview!

Konnan: And?

Roxxi: And your "pen" is actually Mini Charly Manson!! Mostly...how am I the straight man in this thing???

Konnan: Yeah, you sent a RESUME to AAA, looking for a job. (/giggle) Has any wrestler...ever? Sent a resume..anywhere? For a job? Y'know, except for DDP. But he's so charming, it's hard to resist.

JR: Pretty sexy, in his own way...

Roxxi: ARRGH! This is worse than those NECW shows where that one stupid tall guy used to give Sheldon Golberg "advice" like "bring Doug Williams back" and "I've heard from guys backstage that Talia is a slut."

Konnan: Whoa. Don't group us with HIM. I'm a heel, but I don't get THAT kind of heat. We should move on...Joachin?

JR: Uh, Roxxi...you were trained by Steve Bradley. Do you see your career being better or worse than his?

Roxxi: Wow. That seemed to be an actual question. Thanks. I would hope to be half the worker he was...

Konnan: ...'Cause he was pretty good...

Roxxi: ...but I'd also like to have a longer career than he did.

Konnan: ...since he OD'd at the age of 33.

Roxxi: The good news is that I'm...

Konnan: I'll wait while you consult Onlineworldofwrestling.com.

Roxxi: ...30. I apparently turned 30 in April. So if I make it 4 more years, I'm good.

Konnan: Touch my belt...THAT'S ENOUGH! Does anyone even remember that bit? Fine...I'll keep your resume on file and get back to you.

JR: Or, maybe, I'LL keep your resume on file, for when I win ownership back when my team of El Hijo del Santo, La Parka, Vampiro, Octagón, and Jack Evans defeats his team of Silver King, Chessman, Kenzo Suzuki, Electroshock and Teddy Hart...Saturday, June 13, 2009, ONLY on (Mexican) Pay-per-view!

Roxxi: Is that the end of the interview? I'm really confused here.

Konnan: HOLY SHIT ARE WE SEEING THE GI JOE MOVIE?!

JR: FUCK YEAH!! STORM SHADOW IS THE POOR MAN'S OCTAGON!!!

Roxxi: I'll, uh, just see myself out...