Moves You Shouldn't Do: Bodyslam

You are: Hulk Hogan

Your Opponent: Some Fat Guy

The Setup: Hulkamania is running wild early, and you try to lift up a Superheavyweight within the first five minutes of the match.

The Result: You are not strong enough, so he falls backwards onto you for a two-count. Later on in the match (post-Hulk-up), you'll be fine. At the beginning, it's a transition, Brother!

Moves You Shouldn't Do: Throw a Killer Bee Outside

You are: You and a partner.

Your opponent: The Killer Bees.

The Setup: During a match where you're supposed to get "squashed," you get the heat and throw either Brian Blair or Jim Brunzell outside the ring.

The Result: Both Blair and Brunzell go under the apron and put on masks. They emerge simultaneously, and, despite obvious physical differences, they switch places and pin you. I mean--they were gonna win anyway, why cheat like that???

Moves You Shouldn't Do: Throw Ricky Steamboat Over the Top Rope

You are: You.

Your opponent: Ricky Steamboat.

The setup: You are in control of Ricky Steamboat and decide to throw him over the top rope. Naturally he's going to go to the floor. It's not even worth checking on. Go ahead and turn your back and play to the crowd. You've earned it!

The result: Steamboat holds on and Skins the Cat back into the ring. Since your back is turned, your'e a Prime Target for a Dropkick or a Reverse Rolling Cradle. Many a heel has fallen for this one. Don't be a statistic!

Moves You Shouldn't Do: Receive a Ceremonial Headdress

You are: A worker with a Native American gimmick.

Your opponent: Some dastardly heel.

The Setup: As a celebration of your success, your tribe awards you its highest honor--a Ceremonial Headdress. You thank the Chief and hang the headdress on the ringpost while you work your match.

The Result: Some heel comes out and destroys it. Despite only having owned it for like 3 minutes, you are unreasonably attached to this item, and you probably cry. Nobody likes a sad Indian...

Moves You Shouldn't Do: Show Up at a TV Taping in Tampa, FL in 1987

You are: The British Bulldogs

Your opponent: Anyone, probably.

The Setup: As the reigning WWF Tag Team Champions, you and your faithful bulldog Matilda decide to honour your commitments and attend all WWF Superstars tapings, including in Tampa, FL.

The Result: Well...in January 1987, you get screwed out of your Tag Team Titles by that crooked referee Danny Davis. Then in December, the damn Islanders kidnap Matilda from right under your noses. Thank your lucky stars that there were only two tapings that year--who knows what else you would have lost.

Moves You Shouldn't Do: Renounce Anti-Americanism

You are: A worker with an Angry Foreigner gimmick (ie: Yokozuna, Sgt. Slaughter, Nikita Koloff, Ivan Koloff, Nikolai Volkoff, etc.)

Your opponent: The U S of A

The Setup: Following years of an uppercard push based on your hatred of America, you reailze the joys of Capitalism and vow to defend the United States.

The Result: Your push goes down the crapper. Where you were once a World Champion or a top-level contender, you're now stuck in a low-end Tag Team with Hacksaw Jim Duggan or feuding with the Boris Zhukovs and Paul Jones' of the world. In some cases, you even die because you're fat. For God's sake--stay faithful to your hatred of America!

Moves You Shouldn't Do: Punches

You are: John Cena

Your opponent: Anyone

The Setup: After getting beat up for most of the match, you make a comeback. As part of the comeback, you decide to throw punches.

The Result: Well, nothing really. But Cena shouldn't throw punches. They just look shitty.

Moves You Shouldn't Do: Ten Punches in the Corner

You are: You

Your opponent: The Undertaker

The Setup: The Undertaker is in the corner. You climb up to the second rope to do the Ten Punch Countalong thing.

The Result: Taker sneaks his arms under your legs and gives you the Last Ride Powerbomb. You probably get pinned shortly afterward.

Moves You Shouldn't Do: Catch a Chair

You are: You

Your opponent: Rob Van Dam

The Setup: Rob Van Dam throws a chair at you. Instead of ducking it, avoiding it or knocking it to the mat, you catch it.

The Result: Van Dam spinkicks the chair, whacking it into your face. This isn't the finish, but gives RVD ample time to point to himself and celebrate. You lie there, all whacked in the face and unable to point to yourself and celebrate. This is what your Guidance Counselor warned you about...

Moves You Shouldn't Do: Try to Break Up a Bulldog

You are: You, but in a Tag Team

Your opponent: Raven or Matt Hardy

The Setup: Your opponent has your partner in a headlock in the corner, clearly intending on bulldogging him. You run at them in order to break this up.

The Result: Raven or Hardy completes the bulldog AND clotheslines you. Smooth. Real smooth.

Moves You Shouldn't Do: Moonsault

You are: Bob Holly

Your opponent: Kurt Angle

The Setup: Angle goes for a moonsault. You let him hit it for a change.

The Result: You break your arm.

Moves You Shouldn't Do: Moonsault

You are: Kurt Angle

Your opponent: Anyone

The Setup: You go to the top rope and decide to do a moonsault. Sometimes you do this from the top of a cage.

The Result: You miss. Badly and painfully.

Moves You Shouldn't Do: Huracanrana

You are: Jeff Jarrett
Your opponent: Anyone

The Setup: You, Jeff Jarrett, whip your opponent into the ropes. You leap straight up, hoping for a decisive hurancanrana.

The Result: You get powerbombed. Ouch.

Moves You Shouldn't Do: Uppercut on Apron

You are: A babyface on a 1980s WWF House Show
Your opponent: A heel on a 1980s WWF House Show

The Setup: You are brawling with your opponent on the apron as the referee begins his count. Around the point that he calls out "Eight!," you throw an upppercut punch.

The Result: The heel flies over the top rope and back into the ring. You get counted out.

Moves You Shouldn't Do: Catch a Boot

You are: You
Your opponent: Owen Hart, Yoshinari Ogawa or Robert Gibson

The Setup: You get whipped into the ropes. Your opponent throws a kick at your stomach but you catch it. Instead of doing anything about this, you gloat. I mean--what could possibly happen? You have HIS boot in your hands!

The Result: Enzuigiri, which means "Brain Kick" in Japanese. Your plan has failed.

Moves You Shouldn't Do: Splash Mountain

You are: You
Your opponent: Rey Misterio Jr.

The Setup: Misterio is on the top rope, facing outwards. You climb to the second rope and grab him in a Crucifix position. Despite never having done this in your career, a Splash Mountain seems appropriate here.

The Result: Misterio turns the powerbomb attempt in to a cool huracanrana and most likely pins you.

Moves You Shouldn't Do: Powerbomb Kidman

You are: You

Your opponent: Billy Kidman

The setup: You attempt a powerbomb.

The result: FAIL.