Who Ya Got?

Lo-Ki vs. Loki

Loki: Beloved pet of Mickey Rourke
Lo-Ki: Beloved by Pavlovian Internet fans

Loki: is buried in a Pet Cemetary
Lo-Ki: was buried in the TNA undercard as Senshi

Loki: Small enough to be carried in Mickey Rourke's pocket.
Lo-Ki: Small enough to be carried by a good worker.

Loki: Is a Chihauha.
Lo-Ki: Is a former member of the Rottweilers.

Lo-Ki: Is bald.

Loki: Is a Chihauha. So, yeah, he's also bald. (Technically, WAS also bald.)

Loki: Has a surprisingly loud bark.
Low-Ki: Has a surprisingly deep voice.

Low-Ki: Criticized for his stiff way of working.
Loki: Is currently experiencing Rigor Morits-related sitffness.


Decision: You want either a tiny, decaying dog or Mickey Rourke's pet? Go for it!!

Who Ya Got?

In our continuing efforts to determine the outcome of the most debated match-ups of all-time, the resident experts on the staff of You Can't Powerbomb Kidman.com will regularly post their thoughts on the ultimate victors of these "Dream Matches." Today's showdown:

The Outsiders?
























Or, The Outsiders?



















The argument for The Outsiders: Actual wrestling experience, backstage political savvy, Cuban accents

The argument for The Outsiders: Period Authenticity, Francis Ford Coppola, young adult fiction book sales

Deliberations: Diesel and Razor Ramon are tough guys and legit wrestling world champions. But the other team has the Karate Kid, Maverick, the bouncer from Roadhouse AND the motherfuckin' Soul Man! Dude, c'mon now... That's a no-contest.

Winner!: Due to sheer critical mass of awesomeness, The Outsiders.

(Tangential note: Whoa, look how short Tom Cruise is. Geeze. No wonder he's a Scientologist.)