Y'know what we're sick of? People complaining about the booking in TNA. In an ongoing attempt to set the record straight, we will take the "con" side and defend said booking. Like that's gonna be hard...
Today's Topic: Feuding Partners
Think of your own life. You (ostensibly) have friends. You (ostensibly) have family. You (ostensibly) have a Tag Team Partner. Now consider those friends/family/partners--do you always get along 100% of the time? Or do you sometimes hit somewhat of a rough patch that has to be worked through? Sometimes you work through it, sometimes you don't, but it always happens no matter what. It's better that way--we've all been in That Relationship, the one where you think you get along at every moment and agree on everything. And it always ends the same--with both of you realizing that all that "agreeing" was really just holding your tongue and building up a grudge that invariably ends explosively.
That brings us to TNA. Most of the teams have that "shades of grey" realism to them. For example, Team 3-D has basically been together since 1996. You think over the last 12 years that they've loved every moment together? You think D-Von's never walked into the bathroom after a Bubba Bomb and questioned his life choices? Do you really believe that Bubba isn't secretly jealous that D-Von had Battista as his Deacon while Bubba had to hang out with Spike Dudley? It's a wonder that they don't devolve into fisticuffs every single day. In TNA, they react like real people. They clearly love each other, but stuff sometimes rubs them the wrong way. They never quite make it to violence; they just sort of snipe at each other and realize that they have a common enemy (it's usually LAX, BTW).
Contrast this brother team with the WWE's Hardy Boyz. They never fight. They never disagree. Matt's not jealous that Jeff is WWE Champion. Jeff never makes fun of Matt for being a pussy and losing Lita to Edge. Is this what went on with you and your brother? I don't quite think so. If Vince Russo had the Hardyz, he would present them more realistically. Matt would constantly try to fart on Jeff's head. Jeff would do a swanton onto Matt's favorite Radio Controlled Car in retaliation. Nobody else could mess with their brother, but they could. In short, they would be awesome.
How about the Motor City Machine Guns? Both Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin are young cocky dudes, just looking to score some poon. You think that Sabin likes it when Shelley tells the ugly one that "Chris is single, go make the first move?" Does Shelley resent constantly being referred to as Sabin's wingman? Of course not (and so, respectively). However, they're also both cocky enough to know that there's more chicks to be had by winning wrestling matches. They both think they're the star of the best team in TNA, so they each try their hardest in the ring. Due to this complicated relationship, the audience can see that these are "real" people and therefore get more emotionally involved.
In the fantasyland of the WWE, John Morrison and the Miz totally get along. Neither one cares that the other is kind of stealing his Douchey Chick Magnet gimmick. In real life, these two guys wouldn't be able to co-exist in the same bar. They'd constantly be trying to one-up and steal chicks from each other, only to find a truce when the bouncer kicks them both out. In the WWE? Tag Champs.
And the Main Event Mafia? Look at all the history with Sting, Steiner, Booker, Nash and Angle. Nash tried to put WCW, Sting's true love, out of business. The Outsiders' first conquest was to win the Tag Team Titles from Harlem Heat (y'know, Booker T's team). The Heat feuded seemingly forever with the Steiners. The Steiners feuded seemingly forever with the Outsiders. Steiner's brother hit Sting with a boot just because Eddie Gilbert told him to. There's some Shared History there, and almost none of it is good. And, fuck, they probably all hate Kurt Angle. You just KNOW he won't shut up about that damn Gold Medal.
They're willing to work together in order to show those young punks what's what (and to model their PHAT suits), but it's an uneasy alliance. A turn is coming--no need for a "swerve" here. We all know they hate each other. It is, you might note, the real world and not Fake-WE.
There is no equivalent in the WWE of the MEM. That's because Vince and Co. are incapable of booking a group with such an intricate backstory. Maybe he should stop getting blown up in limos and start watching the best show on TV--TNA Impact.
An ancillary bonus of all this Shades of Grey booking is that it makes it wicked easy to do a turn in case there hasn't been one all show...
So what do you prefer? Reality or Fantasy? I thought so.
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